Parenting can be a tough task, even for experienced parents. Every child is different and shows different emotional and psychological needs. So if you feel that your child is under-confident and shows traits of low self-esteem, then you must be wondering how to build confidence in a child. Before you read the guide further let us tell you that there is no ultimate handbook or rule of parenting and each style of parenting develops naturally depending upon family and social conditions. Each child requires a different amount of guidance and nurturing from their parents for building their personality and self-confidence. So keeping that in mind, let’s understand how important is self-esteem for your child in their growing years and what could be your role a parent in building it.
How Self-Esteem Matters To Your Child?
As you know, each child is different and shows different emotional, psychological and social needs. It is mainly due to a child’s temperament and also is influenced by outside factors such as family environment, social environment, etc. As a parent, you must have noticed if your child is confident about doing any activity or feel insecure and doubt their abilities. They might not find proper support in social groups such as their friend circle or school. So as the primary support system, it is the responsibility of both the parents to understand the emotional needs of your child and make sure that your child does not feel insecure or unloved at any point in their lives. It is more important during a child’s growing years since it can be a difficult time for them as they are absorbing different experiences from their environment and any delicate situation can leave a deep impact on their minds. As they grow up, they can understand the intricacies of the social environment around them better and develop coping mechanisms to deal with a loss or mistake.
Kids with high self-esteem show a healthy approach towards doing new activities and have a positive outlook towards their life. It is a very essential quality required to cope with mistakes and keep on trying until succeeding. A child with low self-esteem might have fewer friends and think low of themselves. Hence they might not develop their communication skills well and this leads to more self-doubt and under-confidence hence leading to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem may develop in kids not due to lack of appreciation from parents but due to their own failures in accomplishing something. So it is very important for parents to understand the reason for low self-confidence in children and make them feel good about themselves.
It is not hard to track down the signs of low self-esteem in kids and you can notice it gradually over a period of time. Some of the apparent signs of low self-esteem are:
- they are critical about everything they do and often treat themselves harshly.
- they have a perception that they are not good as other kids.
- lack confidence
- have self-doubt about accomplishing any task.
Now it must be very clear to you why self-esteem is necessary for your kids in their growing years. The greatest source of building a child’s self-confidence is they themselves and the accomplishments they achieve on their own strength and merit. So you must give your child his or her space and let them do the tasks by themselves. Be there as their friend and mentor through their tumultuous journey during their pre-teen years and cheer them up whenever they feel low.
How To Build Self-Confidence In Child
The process of building self-esteem is not an easy task, and certainly requires a lot of time and patience. As the kids grow and learn new experiences, their self-experience grows too. In this journey, if they find a warm and comforting environment where they are encouraged and supported, it would help them build their self-confidence. Here are some things which you can do to boost your child’s self-confidence:
- Give Them Space of Their Own: Children grow from their own experiences. As parents, you need to step back in some situations and let your child explore and handle the situation on their own. There is a new thing for every child to learn at every age. Appreciate them for their achievements and assure them that you are there at every step of their endeavours.
- Be Their Role Model: A child’s first role model is their parents. So let them emulate you and let them do what they want to do in their own way. If they make mistakes, be there for them and be proud of them instead of admonishing them. Show them their mistakes and correct them the first time. Let them take the challenge, however easy or hard, on their own the next time.
- Give Them Approval When Required: No matter what your parenting style might be or how harsh you might try to be as a parent, it is important that you show your appreciation and approval if they fail in doing something. If they feel like giving up at any point of time, assure them that they did their best and they will emerge even a bigger winner next time they try. Remember, your motive must be to praise their efforts instead of the end result. This is a very important lesson to build a child’s self-confidence and personality.
- Give Them Enough Time: This is perhaps the most important aspect of building the relationship with your child and even their self-confidence. We know that in today’s modern age, where mostly both theparents are working, it can be difficult for them to take out time for their children. So make sure that whatever free time you get after you return from your job, try to be with your child and communicate with them. Know everything about them and all their activities for the day. Share the experience of your day with them too. This way you will come to know about what is going on in their life and whether they are experiencing any inner-conflict in life.
- Learn New Skills: Your child’s self-confidence will soar if you let them do some of the activities at home on their own. It can be simple task such as gardening, doing dishes, laundry, etc.
Some Interesting Confidence Building Activities For Kids
Developing self-confidence starts from toddler age only and is completed not before an individual ends his or her teenage years. If a child does not start developing self-confidence at at early stage, then he or she might face difficulties in developing it in the later years. So if your kid is shy then as a parent you must be searching for tips to how to make your shy child confident.
Here are some activities, some of which will require your coordination or participation, and most of it the kids will require to do on their own.
#1 Be a good role model and channel confident and empathetic behaviour in front of the kids: Parents are always the kids first role model. So channel confident and positive behaviour in front of them, such as offering help to neighbours, having a good social circle and having a healthy interaction with them, empathising with others problems and the nature to listening and finding solutions to problemns, even for strangers. So your kid will always remeber your values and nature and try to emulate you when he or she faces a similar situation. This will make them confident about themselves and thus build morale and self-confidence.
#2 Having Social Speaking Skills is a Must: If your kid is shy and doesn’t want to interact much or feels awkward in the presence of people, then your role as a parent is to guide him or her about effective communication skills with people such as eye-contact, confident posture, polite chit- chat, etc. Hence this will help you to groom your child over time and they will surely develop self-confidence and initiate conversations with anyone with ease.
#3 Develop a Hobby: One of the main reasons a child has low self-esteem is that they feel they do not have the ability to do a task which the others can do, or that the others might do it better. So it is apparent that the need for self-esteem stems from competence and in case a child feels that they are not capable of doing a particular task, or lose interest in doing a task, then you have to take the matter into your own hands. You can discuss with your child about the idea of pursuing their hobby in which they have interest since their childhood. Or you can suggest them to take up a hobby which according to you they would find interesting.
Developing and pursuing a hobby will give your kids a new sense of accomplishment and a positive outlook towards their life. This will increase their social interaction and their social circle will widen gradually. This will make them proud of their work and build their self-confidence
Parenting can be a tough task, and there is no universal rule book for it. Every individual develops their own style of parenting. But you can always take help of some tips which you can take an idea from and implement it in your own ways to develop self-confidence in your child.
Do share your valuable views regarding the tips which we have provided here and do not forget to share this post with other parents